Zombie Attack

I swear my first grade class today was replaced by zombies.  Really dumb zombies. They couldn't get a single question even when I gave them the answers.  I was so frustrated I started throwing my slate pen.  Fortunately its tethered so it didn't go very far.  My lesson was on the Table of Contents and how to use it. 

Here are a few examples of what happened today.....

Mrs. Honey:  Boys and girls the table of contents is the page that shows all the CHAPTERS (I said this very loudly) in a book.  So what does a book need in order to have a table of contents?

Student 1: Author
Mrs Honey: No

Student 2: Illustrator
Mrs Honey: No 

After five more completely wrong answers I finally said: "Boys and girls Mrs. Honey just said a table of contents lists the chapters, so a book has to have Chapters to have a table of contents. So what does a book need in order to have a table of contents?"

Students:  An AUTHOR!

I then gave them an example table of contents with three chapters. 

Fish........Page 1
Frogs......Page 3
Bugs.......Page 6

Mrs. Honey: Okay boys and girls if I want to read about Bugs, which page do I need to turn to?

Student 1: Yes
Mrs Honey:  This is not a yes or no question boys and girls.

Student 2:  No!

Someone please stab me with my slate pen and put me out of my misery!