Polar Bear, Polar Bear What Do You See?

Today's picture is courtesy of the art teacher.  Thank Mrs. Arty, I really needed a smile today.  Naughty, naughty polar bears!

Well, Hello Mr. Obvious

"Can't say shit in class, can't say shit in class, can't say shit in class." "Don't say shit in class, don't say shit in class, don't say shit in class." These were the two thoughts playing in my head during 3rd grade today. One of my pet peeves with children is their constant desire to state the obvious. If its raining they have to tell you it's raining, even if you have just walked in the building and are soaking wet and shaking out an umbrella. They can't stop theirselves. Today I was introducing the Arkansas Diamond Award List for this year. One of the books on the list is called "Chicken Little." First I had to hear about ten times that they had seen that movie. I tried very nicely to explain that the story is very old and there are several different versions of this story and yes I was also familiar with the movie, which was another version of the same story. I then made the mistake of picking that book to read. After I finished one student could not keep himself from blurting out "That books nothing like the movie!" Did I not explain that in explicit detail? All I could think was; "No shit,Sherlock" How badly I wanted to say that.

Diary of a Naughty Kid

Once again I have pictures of additions students have made to library books.  This time the pictures are all from the same book.  It is from one of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books.  If you're not familiar with the books, they are written as if they are the diary of  a middle school kid named Greg Heffley.  Greg writes about things that happen to him at school and at home and he also includes drawings to illustrate his diary.  I can see how this would be very tempting for a student to add to the pictures.  Of course the additions that were added to this book were not all that innocent. 

This addition points out and emphasizes Greg's mother's anatomy.  In other words, Greg's mom has tits!



This time the student decided to caption an illustration in order to explain a character's lack of intelligence.  "He died because he was so stupid to fall in a trap." 

I have to be honest I really don't know how this drawing and caption add to the story.  On the left is a drawing of a pole with a stripper with certain interesting parts drawn in and labeled ("Booby" and toward the bottom by the legs "kuchet," which I can only assume was suppose to be Coochie).  Then on the right side of the page the kid wrote: "Strippers stripping on a pole like this."
Really?  Where do they see this stuff?  The kid who I think did this is only 10 years old!   



Makes a teacher proud

It always amazes me when the younger kids are super proud of something they should be embarrassed about. Friday afternoon I was standing in the hall waiting for my next class when kindergarten was walking by. One little boy turned around and called out to me from across the hall.... Little Boy: "Hey Mrs. honey, guess what!" Mrs. Honey: "What sweetie?" Honestly the thoughts going through my head were: new puppy, new toy, or my mom's pregnant. Little Boy: "I got Head Lice." Mrs. Honey: "Well,Good for you." Everyone in the hall heard our entire conversation. I couldn't stop laughing and his poor teacher turned red she was so embarrassed. But that little boy had no shame whatsoever.

Show and Tell

While working in the library, I often find notes or pictures that students have added to the books.  I must say some of these drawings and notes are too good not to save, so I have started taking pictures of them.  Here is one of my favorites.

For those of you who can not translate elementary the note reads "I hate that ugly Mrs. Honey, Asshole."

 I believe this was a personal note to me because my name was on it.  I cropped my name out of it, but if I hadn't you would also see that the student spelled it wrong.  How that can happen I don't understand.  I do not have a name that can be spelled in different ways.  There is only one way to spell my name and this kid got it wrong! So what did I do?  Well when I figured out the last student to have the book, the principal and I tried to get her to confess.  As you can imagine, she denied, denied, denied.  Without proof, there was nothing I could do. Well that wasn't good enough for me, so the next time I had her class, I made sure that the days lesson was on the proper spelling of Mrs. Honey's name.  I wrote my name on the board correctly and had the whole class write my name as many times as they could for the last 10 minutes of class.  When they asked why they were doing that, I said, "I want to make sure that the next time I see my name written anywhere that it is spelled correctly."  Here's the kicker, when I checked my suspects paper, she had spelled my name wrong again, exactly the same way that it was spelled in the book.  But she didn't do it, right?

I would also like to point out that I am never an asshole.  Bitch maybe, but never an asshole.  Get that right next time too!