Ironic T-Shirts

I just love ironic t-shirts. 

Today I saw a kindergartner wearing a t-shirt that said "I still live with my parents" 
I do love an honest man.  

My all time favorite.....  Plain shirt with a picture of a sock that said "You Sock"

Teacher Crack II

Hand Sanitizer

I love hand sanitizer.  I have at least 15 bottles placed strategically around the library.  I do not go past a bottle without a shot of the good stuff.  I love the feel of nice clean hands and the slight smell of alcohol.  I sanitize no less then 3 times per class period.  I should never get sick!  But sadly even with the excessive layers of hand sanitizers, I will still get at least one cold every year. 

I love, love, love Hand Sanitizer!

Kindergarten Peep Show

This is a story retold from a kindergarten teacher.

In the mornings before school starts kindergartners come in and sit in the hallways outside their classrooms.  One teacher is on duty and watches the kids until the bell rings.  Mrs. K was on duty and noticed that one of the girls was more endowed then what she had been the day before.  The little girl had stuck a pair of socks under her sun dress and was shaking her new goods.  Mrs. K had to tell her to take her socks out of her dress and put them back on her feet!

They learn so fast!

I wasn't going to teach body modification until at least November.....

Teacher Crack

Every teacher has little things that help her make it through the day.  The little thing that makes you happy or calms you down when the kids are being really bad.  I refer to these things as teacher crack. 

I love to cut laminate.  I love the smooth feel of cutting a straight line along a piece of paper that's been laminated.  It just feels good to cut out things that have been laminated.  If I'm having a very stressful day, I will laminate something just so I can cut it out.  Cutting laminate is definitely my "Teacher Crack."

The Da Vinci Code II: Enter the Warrior

Well once again I am left speechless by a kindergartner.


Name on the roll:  JAMES EDWARD MATTHEWS*

Mrs. Honey: "And what do they call you at home little boy?"

JEM:  "Well my mom calls me JAMES WARRIOR"


Great now they're giving their kids wrestling names (or as they say around here Wrastling).


 I can hear it echoing over the intercom
"And now entering the library JAMES "WARRIOR" MATTHEWS" 

And the crowd goes wild!

*Fake Name

My second job

Even though I am a teacher and make scads of moneys all the time (As the kids say) I do feel the need to work a 2nd and 3rd part time job, just to keep me in the name brand Mac and Cheese at the grocery store. 

My second job is after school as a tutor at a local children's home.  This home is considered an emergency shelter and they take in children from abusive homes.  None of the children are in the shelter because of something they did.  They are not juvenile delinquents.  They are good kids in really bad situations.  These kids are also placed in our school system while they are in the children's home so I see the kids at school and at the home when I tutor. 

For the last 3 years I have worked with one student in particular.  He spent 3 years in this home and has finally been ADOPTED!  I am so happy for him.  He was a great kid in a horrible situation.  I know the couple who adopted him and he couldn't be in a better place.   I do miss him though because he moved to a new school district. 

Yesterday I worked with a new 4th grader.  We practiced his spelling words, he did pretty well and only missed 3.  Today he was gone.  Sadly this happens a lot.  Kids may come and go within a week.  Some like my former student are there for years. 

Today I worked with a new 3rd grader.  He was also in my library class yesterday.  He seems really sweet, but he hates school.  Who can blame him?  He's new, he lives in a children's shelter and all the kids know it, and he has a pretty bad facial scar around his mouth.  I'm not allowed to ask a lot of questions about the kids I work with due to privacy laws, but I found out from his teacher that the scars are from burns from battery acid.  I don't know if it was an accident or someone purposefully hurt this child, but either way that is repulsive.  How does a parent do that or allow that to happen to a child?

I know when I get home and look at my children, I really hope they can appreciate the fact that they have a home and parents who love them.

Back to school

Today was my second day back to school.  So far no major catastrophes.  Just the usual wild and uncontrollable Kindergartners.  I don't know what it is, but I can never get use to how hard it is to deal with Kindergarten that first week.  I do know that is was never in my future to become a full time Kindergarten teacher.  Once a day for 40 minutes is my limit, thank you very much. 

I did have to tell one 2nd grader to stop scratching her crotch.  That's always a fun conversation.  And please try to hug me right after that on your way to lunch!  I do love kids, but sometimes they are just gross.