One kid to another while in line.
I don't have any cents. (say it out loud!)
One kid to me while walking in the door.
It smells like books in here. (duh).
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
It's beginning to look a lot like book fair!
Last week I was showing the book fair preview video that promotes some of the books from the fair. One of the books is a mystery set on the Titanic. The teaser for the book goes something like this.... "what if you were being chased by a serial killer, while trying to avoid a mob boss and what if it were all happening on the Titanic?" All of the sudden I hear a little boy pipe up and announce to the class, "my mom is a serial killer."
I sure hope he doesn't get in trouble for revealing his mom's secret identity when he
gets home. I also know I'm not gonna get caught with her alone anytime soon.
Last Friday I started previews and I would take my classes to the room where my book fair is set up and let the kids look around. I must have had some very excited 2nd graders judging from what I observed. Two little boys where standing in front of the shelf and one boy was trying to get the other boys attention to look at what he saw. He was repeatedly smacking the other boy on the behind trying to get his attention. I couldn't even get on to him because I was afraid I would burst out laughing.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
There's no Hope left here
We have a very informal school atmosphere. All the teachers are referred to by first name with a title. Miss. First Name.
Our school secretary's name is Hope, so to all students and teachers she is called Miss. Hope. Today there was an all call for Miss Hope who had left the office for lunch. During my kindergarten class I hear over the intercom "Miss Hope can you come back to the office for a phone call?" I was in the middle of the story so I paused while the announcement was made and then started to read when it was over. But then I noticed a student who had gotten out of her seat and started walking to the door.
Miss Honey: "Hope, where are you going?"
Hope: "To the office, they called me."
Miss Honey: "No sweetie, just sit down, that wasn't for you."
It took me a few minutes before I could finish the book!
Our school secretary's name is Hope, so to all students and teachers she is called Miss. Hope. Today there was an all call for Miss Hope who had left the office for lunch. During my kindergarten class I hear over the intercom "Miss Hope can you come back to the office for a phone call?" I was in the middle of the story so I paused while the announcement was made and then started to read when it was over. But then I noticed a student who had gotten out of her seat and started walking to the door.
Miss Honey: "Hope, where are you going?"
Hope: "To the office, they called me."
Miss Honey: "No sweetie, just sit down, that wasn't for you."
It took me a few minutes before I could finish the book!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Ironic T-Shirt II
I love shows like South Park and Family Guy. I don't dare tell my students that I watch and like these shows because in the a perfect world they would not be watching these shows. Sadly I live in the real world and my students are watching these shows and many even worse that I refuse to watch.
The other day I saw a third grader wearing a Family Guy shirt. I almost laughed out loud. Of course if you didn't watch the show then you wouldn't get the shirt, so I had to pretend that I didn't get it.
It was a picture of Stewie and Brian in a canoe and underneath it said "Paddle Faster I Hear Banjos"
The other day I saw a third grader wearing a Family Guy shirt. I almost laughed out loud. Of course if you didn't watch the show then you wouldn't get the shirt, so I had to pretend that I didn't get it.
It was a picture of Stewie and Brian in a canoe and underneath it said "Paddle Faster I Hear Banjos"
Monday, October 17, 2011
I got busted!
There are times in the library when I wonder if anybody is listening or if I'm just talking to myself. So sometimes I test the kids and say absolutely ridiculous things to see if they'll catch on.
In kindergarten sometimes chewing out the bad kid doesn't do any good, but if you praise the good kids they'll do whatever they can to get you to praise them next. Am I being good? If you have to ask, then no you're not! I have five tables on the classroom side of my library. When I call the kids to line up, I use their table numbers. I use their table numbers a lot. Every kid knows what table they sit on. I will often make a broad statement about table 1 sharing nicely, or that everyone on table 3 needs to sit correctly. For the last couple of years, I have made an example of table 6.
Mrs. Honey: Look how good table 6 is being today! Wow table 6 is really following directions today! Table 6 is sharing the crayons so nicely! Mrs. Honey is so proud of table 6! I sure wish everyone was as good as table 6!
These statements are followed by all the kids looking around the room trying to see the kids on table 6 and trying to figure out how they can be better then table 6. If you have been paying attention better then a kindergartner, then you will realize that there is NO TABLE 6. It does not exist except in my mind. In my mind I see a lovely table surrounded by clean children who are not picking their noses and eating boogers. They are quietly working on their papers and have all neatly written their names on their papers spelled correctly and legible. Their butts are not sticking in the air with their questionably clean underwear showing. Or worse no underwear and bare butts showing.
But anyway back to the nonexistent table 6. In all the times I have used table 6 not one kindergartner has caught on. Until last week, when I heard a little voice tell me after I had praised table 6....
"But Mrs. Honey, you don't have a table 6."
Well hopefully no one will ever be as bad table 7.
In kindergarten sometimes chewing out the bad kid doesn't do any good, but if you praise the good kids they'll do whatever they can to get you to praise them next. Am I being good? If you have to ask, then no you're not! I have five tables on the classroom side of my library. When I call the kids to line up, I use their table numbers. I use their table numbers a lot. Every kid knows what table they sit on. I will often make a broad statement about table 1 sharing nicely, or that everyone on table 3 needs to sit correctly. For the last couple of years, I have made an example of table 6.
Mrs. Honey: Look how good table 6 is being today! Wow table 6 is really following directions today! Table 6 is sharing the crayons so nicely! Mrs. Honey is so proud of table 6! I sure wish everyone was as good as table 6!
These statements are followed by all the kids looking around the room trying to see the kids on table 6 and trying to figure out how they can be better then table 6. If you have been paying attention better then a kindergartner, then you will realize that there is NO TABLE 6. It does not exist except in my mind. In my mind I see a lovely table surrounded by clean children who are not picking their noses and eating boogers. They are quietly working on their papers and have all neatly written their names on their papers spelled correctly and legible. Their butts are not sticking in the air with their questionably clean underwear showing. Or worse no underwear and bare butts showing.
But anyway back to the nonexistent table 6. In all the times I have used table 6 not one kindergartner has caught on. Until last week, when I heard a little voice tell me after I had praised table 6....
"But Mrs. Honey, you don't have a table 6."
Well hopefully no one will ever be as bad table 7.
Monday, October 10, 2011
I always win
I love it when I out smart ass the king of the smart asses.
There is one boy in my Wednesday 5th grade who seems to be testing me. Every week he tries so hard to disrupt my class by acting stupid. Sorry there is no polite way to describe how he acts every week except stupid. I usually have to spend the first five minutes of my class getting him to shut up and the other kids to stop laughing at him which only makes him worse.
So one week, I asked him if I needed to call his mother who I know personally and let her know how he acts in my class. The mother threat did not deter him.
Stupid Boy: "So, call her, she ain't gonna do nothing"
Mrs. Honey: "Well fine, I'll just call your dad"
Stupid Boy: "You don't know his number"
Mrs. Honey: "Well I can get it from the office"
Stupid Boy: "They don't have his number"
Well at this point I realized that there was no point in continuing this argument, so I told him to be quiet and started my class. He thought he won. He was wrong.
The next week before class I went and got his student info sheet from the office and made a copy. I then wrote ALL his parents contact numbers across the top of my white board. I did not put their names, just initials and the numbers. I then waited till class started. I said not a word about the numbers. Some of the kids noticed the numbers on the board and asked me what they were. I just shrugged my shoulders and didn't answer them. Stupid boy had not noticed them yet. He finally turned around and saw the numbers on the board. He raised his hand and asked why I had his parents numbers on the board.
Mrs. Honey: "Well who knows when I might need them"
Stupid Boy: "Well thats not my dad's initials anyway"
Mrs. Honey: "Really" I then whip out the copy I made of his data sheet and wave it around in the air. "Thats not what your mom wrote on this sheet"
He never said another word, I have not had a single problem from him since. If he starts to act stupid I just look at the board and then look back at him. That pretty much makes him rethink whatever he was about to do.
This happened about a month ago and I still have the numbers on the board. In fact it has worked so well, I may add a few more numbers to my board!
There is one boy in my Wednesday 5th grade who seems to be testing me. Every week he tries so hard to disrupt my class by acting stupid. Sorry there is no polite way to describe how he acts every week except stupid. I usually have to spend the first five minutes of my class getting him to shut up and the other kids to stop laughing at him which only makes him worse.
So one week, I asked him if I needed to call his mother who I know personally and let her know how he acts in my class. The mother threat did not deter him.
Stupid Boy: "So, call her, she ain't gonna do nothing"
Mrs. Honey: "Well fine, I'll just call your dad"
Stupid Boy: "You don't know his number"
Mrs. Honey: "Well I can get it from the office"
Stupid Boy: "They don't have his number"
Well at this point I realized that there was no point in continuing this argument, so I told him to be quiet and started my class. He thought he won. He was wrong.
The next week before class I went and got his student info sheet from the office and made a copy. I then wrote ALL his parents contact numbers across the top of my white board. I did not put their names, just initials and the numbers. I then waited till class started. I said not a word about the numbers. Some of the kids noticed the numbers on the board and asked me what they were. I just shrugged my shoulders and didn't answer them. Stupid boy had not noticed them yet. He finally turned around and saw the numbers on the board. He raised his hand and asked why I had his parents numbers on the board.
Mrs. Honey: "Well who knows when I might need them"
Stupid Boy: "Well thats not my dad's initials anyway"
Mrs. Honey: "Really" I then whip out the copy I made of his data sheet and wave it around in the air. "Thats not what your mom wrote on this sheet"
He never said another word, I have not had a single problem from him since. If he starts to act stupid I just look at the board and then look back at him. That pretty much makes him rethink whatever he was about to do.
This happened about a month ago and I still have the numbers on the board. In fact it has worked so well, I may add a few more numbers to my board!
Zombie Attack
I swear my first grade class today was replaced by zombies. Really dumb zombies. They couldn't get a single question even when I gave them the answers. I was so frustrated I started throwing my slate pen. Fortunately its tethered so it didn't go very far. My lesson was on the Table of Contents and how to use it.
Here are a few examples of what happened today.....
Mrs. Honey: Boys and girls the table of contents is the page that shows all the CHAPTERS (I said this very loudly) in a book. So what does a book need in order to have a table of contents?
Student 1: Author
Mrs Honey: No
Student 2: Illustrator
Mrs Honey: No
After five more completely wrong answers I finally said: "Boys and girls Mrs. Honey just said a table of contents lists the chapters, so a book has to have Chapters to have a table of contents. So what does a book need in order to have a table of contents?"
Students: An AUTHOR!
I then gave them an example table of contents with three chapters.
Fish........Page 1
Frogs......Page 3
Bugs.......Page 6
Mrs. Honey: Okay boys and girls if I want to read about Bugs, which page do I need to turn to?
Student 1: Yes
Mrs Honey: This is not a yes or no question boys and girls.
Student 2: No!
Someone please stab me with my slate pen and put me out of my misery!
Here are a few examples of what happened today.....
Mrs. Honey: Boys and girls the table of contents is the page that shows all the CHAPTERS (I said this very loudly) in a book. So what does a book need in order to have a table of contents?
Student 1: Author
Mrs Honey: No
Student 2: Illustrator
Mrs Honey: No
After five more completely wrong answers I finally said: "Boys and girls Mrs. Honey just said a table of contents lists the chapters, so a book has to have Chapters to have a table of contents. So what does a book need in order to have a table of contents?"
Students: An AUTHOR!
I then gave them an example table of contents with three chapters.
Fish........Page 1
Frogs......Page 3
Bugs.......Page 6
Mrs. Honey: Okay boys and girls if I want to read about Bugs, which page do I need to turn to?
Student 1: Yes
Mrs Honey: This is not a yes or no question boys and girls.
Student 2: No!
Someone please stab me with my slate pen and put me out of my misery!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Pay Your Bills Mr. Principal!
Yesterday we had a power outage that lasted almost an hour. It happened right in the middle of lunch and of course the kids were all acting a little wild. I had just dismissed my 2nd grade class to lunch, so I went to stand out in the halls since my library has no outside windows and it is completely dark in there without lights on. Kindergarten was walking back in from recess and one of the boys at the end of the line turned around and told me "Mr. Principal must have forgotten to pay the bill, that's why we ain't got no lights on."
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Identity Crisis
Apparently without my knowledge the school I work for has replaced the librarian from last year with an entirely different person this year.
About two years ago I went through a phase where I was trying new things with my hair. I let it grow out really long. I highlighted it with blond streaks, which really lightened it (I have naturally medium brown hair.) Then I went completely blond. Well, I'm not good at maintenance, so I dyed it back to my natural hair color so I wouldn't have to have it colored so often. I then had it cut into a short bob and dyed it dark brown to cover the grays I'm starting to notice. The last change occurred last December, almost a year ago. Since then I have not changed my cut or color. Well during all those changes the kids would always make a big deal out of it and want to know what I did. I tried to just ignore them and pretend everything was the same. I mean really, do I need 500 kids giving me their opinion on my hair choices?
Well back to this year. I have not changed anything since last December, so all the kids who had me last year have seen this hair style and color since before last Christmas. Today I learned from a 1st grade teacher that she has had to convince one of her students that I was the same library teacher as last year. She kept asking her teacher what happened to Mrs. Honey and who was this new lady with the same name. She has apparently been very worried and has asked several teachers if they knew what was wrong with Mrs. Honey and where she went.
So now I'm not even sure who I am anymore.
I think I'll dye my hair red next week!
About two years ago I went through a phase where I was trying new things with my hair. I let it grow out really long. I highlighted it with blond streaks, which really lightened it (I have naturally medium brown hair.) Then I went completely blond. Well, I'm not good at maintenance, so I dyed it back to my natural hair color so I wouldn't have to have it colored so often. I then had it cut into a short bob and dyed it dark brown to cover the grays I'm starting to notice. The last change occurred last December, almost a year ago. Since then I have not changed my cut or color. Well during all those changes the kids would always make a big deal out of it and want to know what I did. I tried to just ignore them and pretend everything was the same. I mean really, do I need 500 kids giving me their opinion on my hair choices?
Well back to this year. I have not changed anything since last December, so all the kids who had me last year have seen this hair style and color since before last Christmas. Today I learned from a 1st grade teacher that she has had to convince one of her students that I was the same library teacher as last year. She kept asking her teacher what happened to Mrs. Honey and who was this new lady with the same name. She has apparently been very worried and has asked several teachers if they knew what was wrong with Mrs. Honey and where she went.
So now I'm not even sure who I am anymore.
I think I'll dye my hair red next week!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Boys will be boys
This comment was overheard while lining up 5th graders to leave my classroom. Friday was the day before a Pee Wee football on Saturday morning, so all my 4th and 5th grade boys who are on the team were wearing their football jerseys to school that day. Two of my football playing 5th graders were lined up next to each other.
Boy 1 to Boy 2: "Tommy, you smell good"
I tried so hard not to laugh as I asked him what he just said.
Boy 1 to Boy 2: "Tommy, you smell good"
I tried so hard not to laugh as I asked him what he just said.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Sabotage
I wish that parents knew all the ways that they sabotage teachers. First of all, don't always assume the teacher is wrong and that your child is being picked on. It amazing how that story changes from the moment it happens, till they get home to you. Also give teachers a break, some parents can't manage their own 2 kids, yet think we should be able to manage 25 with no mistakes. Hey we lose stuff too and sometimes we just forget. I have never met a teacher who was out to get a kid. Don't bad mouth your child's teacher in front of them and then wonder why your child is in trouble for disrespecting the teacher.
And finally, what started me on this post in the first place, if your child is one of the worst students in the school and has severe behavior problems along with a healthy does of ADHD, do NOT and I repeat DO NOT send him to school first thing in the morning with a 32oz bottle of MT. DEW! Are you really surprised that your kid didn't make it to lunch before he was suspended, again? Wasn't today his first day back from a 3-day suspension for all the stuff he pulled last week? Um, yes it was.
And finally, what started me on this post in the first place, if your child is one of the worst students in the school and has severe behavior problems along with a healthy does of ADHD, do NOT and I repeat DO NOT send him to school first thing in the morning with a 32oz bottle of MT. DEW! Are you really surprised that your kid didn't make it to lunch before he was suspended, again? Wasn't today his first day back from a 3-day suspension for all the stuff he pulled last week? Um, yes it was.
Do you get the question?
My lesson for 2nd grade this week is about library manners. For example, don't run, talk quietly, put books back in the proper place etc. The kids had a page to color with examples of different library behaviors and they had to color the good behaviors. On the back of their paper I told them to write two ways they could be polite to others in the library. Pretty simple question, right? Wrong! Half the answers I got back said "Be Polite to Others in the Library." What! That was the question. After the first student gave me that answer, I tried to explain that I wanted ways they could be polite to others. What do the next three kids answer? The EXACT same answer as before. Do they not get it, or were they just not listening?
How Many Hermit Crabs Do You Have ?
Apparently today was the day to one-up the librarian. I was showing my hermit crabs to kindergarten and reading them a few books about hermit crabs. I have 2 hermit crabs and I gave them a bath and let the kids look at them and watch them crawl around. Suddenly one student was telling me about his hermit crabs. Then the next kid had to tell me about his 7 hermit crabs, then the next kid wanted to tell me about ALL 10 of his hermit crabs. Suddenly my two just looked sad and lonely.
And don't even get me started on the kid who cried and screamed when I brought the cage out. I thought he was going to make a run for the door!
And don't even get me started on the kid who cried and screamed when I brought the cage out. I thought he was going to make a run for the door!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
An Apple A Day
I had a first today! A student actually brought me an apple. It was the sweetest thing ever. I love kids!
Friday, September 2, 2011
Spleen Facing Out Please
One of my lessons that I teach every year is the parts of a book. We always go over the cover and spine first. Today in third grade when I asked what we call the part of the book is on the outside and along the back one boy said it was the spleen.
So if you put a book back on the shelf please make sure it's right side up with the spleen facing out. Thank you!
So if you put a book back on the shelf please make sure it's right side up with the spleen facing out. Thank you!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Ironic T-Shirts
I just love ironic t-shirts.
Today I saw a kindergartner wearing a t-shirt that said "I still live with my parents"
I do love an honest man.
My all time favorite..... Plain shirt with a picture of a sock that said "You Sock"
Today I saw a kindergartner wearing a t-shirt that said "I still live with my parents"
I do love an honest man.
My all time favorite..... Plain shirt with a picture of a sock that said "You Sock"
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Teacher Crack II
Hand Sanitizer
I love hand sanitizer. I have at least 15 bottles placed strategically around the library. I do not go past a bottle without a shot of the good stuff. I love the feel of nice clean hands and the slight smell of alcohol. I sanitize no less then 3 times per class period. I should never get sick! But sadly even with the excessive layers of hand sanitizers, I will still get at least one cold every year.
I love, love, love Hand Sanitizer!
I love hand sanitizer. I have at least 15 bottles placed strategically around the library. I do not go past a bottle without a shot of the good stuff. I love the feel of nice clean hands and the slight smell of alcohol. I sanitize no less then 3 times per class period. I should never get sick! But sadly even with the excessive layers of hand sanitizers, I will still get at least one cold every year.
I love, love, love Hand Sanitizer!
Kindergarten Peep Show
This is a story retold from a kindergarten teacher.
In the mornings before school starts kindergartners come in and sit in the hallways outside their classrooms. One teacher is on duty and watches the kids until the bell rings. Mrs. K was on duty and noticed that one of the girls was more endowed then what she had been the day before. The little girl had stuck a pair of socks under her sun dress and was shaking her new goods. Mrs. K had to tell her to take her socks out of her dress and put them back on her feet!
They learn so fast!
I wasn't going to teach body modification until at least November.....
In the mornings before school starts kindergartners come in and sit in the hallways outside their classrooms. One teacher is on duty and watches the kids until the bell rings. Mrs. K was on duty and noticed that one of the girls was more endowed then what she had been the day before. The little girl had stuck a pair of socks under her sun dress and was shaking her new goods. Mrs. K had to tell her to take her socks out of her dress and put them back on her feet!
They learn so fast!
I wasn't going to teach body modification until at least November.....
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Teacher Crack
Every teacher has little things that help her make it through the day. The little thing that makes you happy or calms you down when the kids are being really bad. I refer to these things as teacher crack.
I love to cut laminate. I love the smooth feel of cutting a straight line along a piece of paper that's been laminated. It just feels good to cut out things that have been laminated. If I'm having a very stressful day, I will laminate something just so I can cut it out. Cutting laminate is definitely my "Teacher Crack."
I love to cut laminate. I love the smooth feel of cutting a straight line along a piece of paper that's been laminated. It just feels good to cut out things that have been laminated. If I'm having a very stressful day, I will laminate something just so I can cut it out. Cutting laminate is definitely my "Teacher Crack."
Thursday, August 18, 2011
The Da Vinci Code II: Enter the Warrior
Well once again I am left speechless by a kindergartner.
Name on the roll: JAMES EDWARD MATTHEWS*
Mrs. Honey: "And what do they call you at home little boy?"
JEM: "Well my mom calls me JAMES WARRIOR"
Great now they're giving their kids wrestling names (or as they say around here Wrastling).
I can hear it echoing over the intercom
"And now entering the library JAMES "WARRIOR" MATTHEWS"
And the crowd goes wild!
*Fake Name
Name on the roll: JAMES EDWARD MATTHEWS*
Mrs. Honey: "And what do they call you at home little boy?"
JEM: "Well my mom calls me JAMES WARRIOR"
Great now they're giving their kids wrestling names (or as they say around here Wrastling).
I can hear it echoing over the intercom
"And now entering the library JAMES "WARRIOR" MATTHEWS"
And the crowd goes wild!
*Fake Name
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
My second job
Even though I am a teacher and make scads of moneys all the time (As the kids say) I do feel the need to work a 2nd and 3rd part time job, just to keep me in the name brand Mac and Cheese at the grocery store.
My second job is after school as a tutor at a local children's home. This home is considered an emergency shelter and they take in children from abusive homes. None of the children are in the shelter because of something they did. They are not juvenile delinquents. They are good kids in really bad situations. These kids are also placed in our school system while they are in the children's home so I see the kids at school and at the home when I tutor.
For the last 3 years I have worked with one student in particular. He spent 3 years in this home and has finally been ADOPTED! I am so happy for him. He was a great kid in a horrible situation. I know the couple who adopted him and he couldn't be in a better place. I do miss him though because he moved to a new school district.
Yesterday I worked with a new 4th grader. We practiced his spelling words, he did pretty well and only missed 3. Today he was gone. Sadly this happens a lot. Kids may come and go within a week. Some like my former student are there for years.
Today I worked with a new 3rd grader. He was also in my library class yesterday. He seems really sweet, but he hates school. Who can blame him? He's new, he lives in a children's shelter and all the kids know it, and he has a pretty bad facial scar around his mouth. I'm not allowed to ask a lot of questions about the kids I work with due to privacy laws, but I found out from his teacher that the scars are from burns from battery acid. I don't know if it was an accident or someone purposefully hurt this child, but either way that is repulsive. How does a parent do that or allow that to happen to a child?
I know when I get home and look at my children, I really hope they can appreciate the fact that they have a home and parents who love them.
My second job is after school as a tutor at a local children's home. This home is considered an emergency shelter and they take in children from abusive homes. None of the children are in the shelter because of something they did. They are not juvenile delinquents. They are good kids in really bad situations. These kids are also placed in our school system while they are in the children's home so I see the kids at school and at the home when I tutor.
For the last 3 years I have worked with one student in particular. He spent 3 years in this home and has finally been ADOPTED! I am so happy for him. He was a great kid in a horrible situation. I know the couple who adopted him and he couldn't be in a better place. I do miss him though because he moved to a new school district.
Yesterday I worked with a new 4th grader. We practiced his spelling words, he did pretty well and only missed 3. Today he was gone. Sadly this happens a lot. Kids may come and go within a week. Some like my former student are there for years.
Today I worked with a new 3rd grader. He was also in my library class yesterday. He seems really sweet, but he hates school. Who can blame him? He's new, he lives in a children's shelter and all the kids know it, and he has a pretty bad facial scar around his mouth. I'm not allowed to ask a lot of questions about the kids I work with due to privacy laws, but I found out from his teacher that the scars are from burns from battery acid. I don't know if it was an accident or someone purposefully hurt this child, but either way that is repulsive. How does a parent do that or allow that to happen to a child?
I know when I get home and look at my children, I really hope they can appreciate the fact that they have a home and parents who love them.
Back to school
Today was my second day back to school. So far no major catastrophes. Just the usual wild and uncontrollable Kindergartners. I don't know what it is, but I can never get use to how hard it is to deal with Kindergarten that first week. I do know that is was never in my future to become a full time Kindergarten teacher. Once a day for 40 minutes is my limit, thank you very much.
I did have to tell one 2nd grader to stop scratching her crotch. That's always a fun conversation. And please try to hug me right after that on your way to lunch! I do love kids, but sometimes they are just gross.
I did have to tell one 2nd grader to stop scratching her crotch. That's always a fun conversation. And please try to hug me right after that on your way to lunch! I do love kids, but sometimes they are just gross.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
The Da Vinci Code of Kindergarten
Please be careful when calling your young child by a nickname at home because sometimes it comes back to bite you in the ass. Every year for the first week of school I am delivered a new class of kindergartners everyday. The teacher is always exhausted from trying to deal with these Newbies and will run off as quickly as possible. I am left with a group of 13 to 15 children starring at me. At least three will have fingers in their noses. Two will be scratching in various disgusting places and there are always two who are hugging or inappropriately touching each other. I must then figure out who is who. I have a list from the office of who is "suppose" to be in each class. But if a parent showed up on the first day of school to register their child, they will not be on that list. Also if a parent decided they did not like a certain teacher and got their child moved to another class they will also not be on the correct list. So I then must resort to the one thing I dread most. Asking the children what their names are. If I'm very lucky a child can clearly tell me their first and last name and can give me a hint as to proper spelling. How often does this happen? Almost never. I must then try to decipher the child's name. If is very similar to what they had to do in the book "The Da Vinci Code." Now if the child has been called by their given name all their life then there is a chance I will figure it out. If not, then all bets are off.
Example 1: Mrs. Honey: "What is your name little boy?"
*Note: Said Boy is sporting the tallest freestanding Mohawk I have seen to date. Really it was quite spectacular.
Little Boy: "They call me ROOSTER"
And I must say the nickname fit!
Example 2: Now I must admit, I have a penchant for nicknames and often give others nicknames for the heck of it. Many of my students have earned nicknames and I rarely ever call my own children by their real names. This example is about a nickname that I Mrs. Honey bestowed upon a child.
The little boys name is William Thomas @@@@@. But he has always been called WT. So when he started school in kindergarten I would make up different things that the W and T stood for and see if I got them right. He thought this was funny. This led to his permanent name of WILBUR TURKEYLEGS. Which I still to this day call him in class and which he answers to. Wilbur Turkeylegs will be in 5th grade this year. So he has spent 5 years with that name thanks to me!
*Please note at the end of the class the kids who had been scratching "Those" places are always the same kids who want to hug you!
Example 1: Mrs. Honey: "What is your name little boy?"
*Note: Said Boy is sporting the tallest freestanding Mohawk I have seen to date. Really it was quite spectacular.
Little Boy: "They call me ROOSTER"
And I must say the nickname fit!
Example 2: Now I must admit, I have a penchant for nicknames and often give others nicknames for the heck of it. Many of my students have earned nicknames and I rarely ever call my own children by their real names. This example is about a nickname that I Mrs. Honey bestowed upon a child.
The little boys name is William Thomas @@@@@. But he has always been called WT. So when he started school in kindergarten I would make up different things that the W and T stood for and see if I got them right. He thought this was funny. This led to his permanent name of WILBUR TURKEYLEGS. Which I still to this day call him in class and which he answers to. Wilbur Turkeylegs will be in 5th grade this year. So he has spent 5 years with that name thanks to me!
*Please note at the end of the class the kids who had been scratching "Those" places are always the same kids who want to hug you!
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Who are THE OTHERS
In my school the others are the Extra Teachers. The non classroom teachers. The librarian, the PE teacher, the Art teacher, and the Music teacher. We are responsible for the block schedule. Basically we teach the students during the classroom teacher's conference period.
We call ourselves the others because thats how we are made to feel. We often get left out or excluded. We are not considered REAL teachers. Well guess what? We are. We all have teaching degrees just like the rest of the faculty. In fact I have a master's degree and so does the PE teacher. Most of the regular classroom teachers do not.
They make assumptions about our jobs. That our jobs are easy, not as important, that we do nothing all day, we don't have the discipline problems they have, or we don't have as much stress and pressure when it comes to testing.
I just want everyone to know that I am a TEACHER. I teach everyday. My job is important too. I worry about the Benchmark and try to make sure I am covering all that I need to with my students. I feel the pressure too!
We call ourselves the others because thats how we are made to feel. We often get left out or excluded. We are not considered REAL teachers. Well guess what? We are. We all have teaching degrees just like the rest of the faculty. In fact I have a master's degree and so does the PE teacher. Most of the regular classroom teachers do not.
They make assumptions about our jobs. That our jobs are easy, not as important, that we do nothing all day, we don't have the discipline problems they have, or we don't have as much stress and pressure when it comes to testing.
I just want everyone to know that I am a TEACHER. I teach everyday. My job is important too. I worry about the Benchmark and try to make sure I am covering all that I need to with my students. I feel the pressure too!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Who I am
I am an elementary librarian. I have 600 students from Kindergarten thru 5th grade. I see each class once a week so I stay very busy. I really do love my job, but it does get very frustrating. I decided to start this blog as a way to remember those little moments that make it all worthwhile. (Frankly, I'm getting older and senile and can't really remember them!)
As I start this blog I am about to start my 6th year as the librarian of our local elementary school. I spent 2 years teaching 4th grade prior to that and know that I definitely needed to be moved to the library. The town I live in is small and has a population of about 3,000 people. There is only one school, so everyone's children will pass thru my library at some point. My own children attend the same school. My son is 15 and about to enter 10th grade and my daughter is 10 and going into the 5th grade. This will be the last year that she will be at the same school with me. It makes me sad to think about that because we started at this school together. She started kindergarten the same year I took over the library. This will be our last year together!
As you read this blog I hope you can see what I love about my job. Kids are funny! Even when their not trying to be.
As I start this blog I am about to start my 6th year as the librarian of our local elementary school. I spent 2 years teaching 4th grade prior to that and know that I definitely needed to be moved to the library. The town I live in is small and has a population of about 3,000 people. There is only one school, so everyone's children will pass thru my library at some point. My own children attend the same school. My son is 15 and about to enter 10th grade and my daughter is 10 and going into the 5th grade. This will be the last year that she will be at the same school with me. It makes me sad to think about that because we started at this school together. She started kindergarten the same year I took over the library. This will be our last year together!
As you read this blog I hope you can see what I love about my job. Kids are funny! Even when their not trying to be.
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